It’s a lovely day. We meet up at the New York State Supreme Court in Brooklyn. Upon entering the entrance for the County Clerk’s office, we’re stopped by a couple of security guards.
“I was looking at photos of myself from school,” says one guard.
“What’d you do that for?” the other replies.
“I looked so different,” rubbing his bald head, “all that hair. I looked so good!”
“Oh man,” says the other, “You should burn ‘em all, like I did.” He, too, is bald.

All metal, out of the pockets. Your keys, your glasses. Holly’s belt sets off the metal detector. She steps to the side so Kojak can wand her. Once its clear that Holly left all her bombs at home, the security guard waves her on with a smile.

Into the clerk’s office. Window #3.

“Hello!” he says, beaming. He looks over our forms. “What’s your name gonna be?”
—Well, we weren’t sure it would be taken, but…
“Well WE don’t give a shit, you can be whatever you want.”
—Rumors.
“Rumors? What kind of a name is that? THAT won’t be taken.”
—You sure nobody else? Strip club? Nail salon? bar?
He types into his computer. “Yeah, you can’t use it, it’s taken.”
—We’ll be Rumors Studio.
“Okay, well you won’t be that yet. First you gotta go get this form notarized – you can do that across the street, at the deli behind that organic food truck.”
So we leave, jauntily telling the security guards “We’ll be back!”

We get it notarized by a fellow working an all-purpose shop wedged into an office lobby. He sells legal pads, he sells portable flash drives, he sells twinkies and ho-hos, tabloids and scratchies, and he notarizes.

We go back to the clerk’s office, passing through the metal detector again. This time, the one bald guy passes Holly a note and says “my buddy wanted me to give this to you”:

Ba-da boom! We come for a business certificate, we leave with a potential date!

Once back in, we xerox and then file our forms. Our friend the clerk looks it over. “You get these on the internet?”
— Yup
“You’re bad business people already. They cost $2 more than at the store.”
We all have a laugh. He invites us to drinks at his favorite bar/grill, the Waterfront Ale House. “I get off at five but my wife gets off at seven, right around the corner from here. So what do you think I do while I’m waiting? Drink.”
A good question. We should take him up on it, and maybe call that security guard. Next we pay, then get our forms punched with an excellent Seal of Kings County, and off we go. A business! Thank you New York City.